The Power of Sikh Sangat
As a child in the United States, I grew up mostly isolated from the Sikh Experience and Sikh sangat until I attended the Sikh Research Institute’s Sikh Leadership program, Sidak. Before I arrived, I worried about feeling out of place, making mistakes, or being judged, and concerned about finding the elements of toxicity I had experienced in other ‘sangats.’ Instead, I found a loving community, humble community — who displayed the kind of sweet humility Guru Nanak speaks of in Asa Ki Var.
I was encouraged to ask questions and use tools to come up with answers for myself, instead of being spoon-fed black and white prescriptions. I found that everyone I met, regardless of upbringing or background or Sikhi journey, had moments of doubt, of questioning, of feeling lost on the path they were walking. The sangat I found there taught me that it is okay to give myself room to grow and make mistakes, to ask questions and learn. They showed me the importance of patience and compassion with myself and with others—that this journey is not linear or easy, and that it is a thing that I have choice in.
I understood that the question of when I would feel fully comfortable in Sikh spaces was no longer the question to ask, because no one feels fully comfortable all the time. The question instead was how I could learn to appreciate that discomfort, to allow it to chisel me in to a more compassionate and empathetic person when I enter those spaces. Sangat is meant to challenge us to become something more refined than what we were before — to think through things and feel through things with us, to be supportive and unconditionally loving and nonjudgmental, to empower us to choose to continue to walk this path and empower us to continue walking even when it is hard. Sangat also provides the understanding that this is a choice, and that some of us may choose not to walk this path, too.
Cultivating Sangat at Home
My family was my first Sangat, and so I believe that Sangat begins at home — but how do we cultivate it? One of the hardest parts about being a parent is having to make the transition from seeing your kid as a kid and seeing your kid as a person in the world with feelings and opinions and decisions to make about the life they want or the things they want to do. It is hard to understand and to believe that your children are not just extensions of you, pieces of you walking around in the world. It is hard to give in to the utter lack of control that you will inevitably feel when your kids become kids who disagree with you about something other than whether they get to have dessert after dinner.
Becoming Sangat for your kids means giving them space to question and discuss and explore things for themselves, telling them the truth about what your journey has looked like, and offering them a space of nonjudgment and unconditional love to return to each day. It means bringing Sikhi into discussions and disagreements and life events, making it alive the way it ought to be, rather than a thing that you do together on Sundays. It means rooting your parenting in love rather than the fear that you will ‘lose’ them, if they won’t love their Sikhi the same way you do, or that their journey looks different from yours. It means leading by example so that they may know how to be compassionate and forgiving and accepting of themselves and others. It is also knowing that they have as much to teach you. So as the school year can become challenging, I encourage you to create a sangat like environment at home and see how you all grow through that empowerment. Remember starting small with simple steps like doing some Simran before the kids go to sleep and showing gratitude for the day can go a long way
Tips on cultivating Sangat at home:
Have open discussions and lead by example in being vulnerable and nonjudgmental
Bring Sikhi into conversations about current events and politics or personal struggles
Pick a Shabad, a portion, or even a single word or phrase from Bani to reflect on as a family. Orient the conversation around what the Guru is saying and how you all relate it to your own lives, and where you might be struggling to internalize the message of the Guru.
Be honest about your own Sikhi journeys, and your inner relationship with the Guru
Learn more about Sidak.
About the Author:
Jasleen Kaur is a Research Associate at the Sikh Research Institute, serving as one of the commentary writers and transcreators of The Guru Granth Sahib Project, a 20+ year translation project, and the State of the Panth series, which reports on matters affecting either a large section of the Sikh Nation or a perspective on critical issues facing humanity at large.